This is from my other blog which doesn't seem to work anymore... for historical purpose i have copied it here...



[ Thu May 22, 08:38:00 PM | Serena Lee | edit ]
Today i'm supposed to be completing work for my Law Research assignment. Why am i typing this up i wonder?

But i've been thinking about some things lately. Why is it that i always seem to have no luck in the field of romance and love? Is it because i let them slip? Or i've just been unlucky? I think it might have been the former. It crushes me to know that i have let chances pass me by and i did not take them and grab them or whatever else i'm suppose to do.

Perhaps you might think that i'm a silly little girl for worrying about such trivial matters when, heck, i've got a Law assignment waiting for me to finish. But these are important matters too don't you think? Its about my happiness... my life!

Am i doomed to be alone? Chasing a dream that isn't likely to come true?



[ Wed May 01, 10:05:56 PM | Serena Lee | edit ]
A friend just emailed me, and another bunch of peeps who are all proud AIESECers. To relate to us the amazing experience that she had doing some community projects. I think that is just way cool and admire the things that she chose to do with her free time. I aim to emulate, change the way i live my life and hopefully i will, one day, get to witness the same things. All, the work of God, so wonderful and subtle. Here is her account of events:

Dear people,

You know, there are some moments when I can just forgive everything. Like, I get this really expansive feeling in my chest, and I can’t stop beaming, as if a trill of laughter will fall out of my mouth if I open it. It’s a colossal friendly feeling towards everyone, including myself. These moments are rare and vivid, and they like jewels.

Maybe it’s the mood I’m in, or maybe it’s just inexcusable schmaltz. Anyway, I want to tell you about two recent learning experiences of mine.

One is the CONNECT workshop we held last Saturday. I’ve told a few people already, because it made such an impact on me.Last Saturday, we had a fairly small turnout to begin with because some of the Aboriginal kids have karate class at that time now that holidays are over (though these kids came to join us halfway through after their karate class).

Anyway, during the class, this Aboriginal man walks into the center, looking completely drunk. His cheeks were red and he had spit-foam around his mouth, and he slurred his words as he spoke.But he had actually come to the center to bring some more kids from the Block. He told me that he’s really happy we are running these classes, and
how he thought it was so much better for the kids that they come to the computer workshops rather than hanging around the block where people do drugs and drink alcohol. The man’s name is Nignar (spelling??) and he told me that though initially people in the block didn’t know what CONNECT was about and were quite sceptical, now that we’ve been there a few times, many of the kids have started to say that they want to come along too. However they can’t come unless they have parental or relational permission. So he said that he’ll bring some kids next week and that he’ll bring them on time.He dropped off the Aboriginal girls, telling them he’s going to the pub.

I guess what struck me most about the whole encounter was not his support for what we’re doing, but the fact that despite his besotted state, he still cared. It was as if he himself was aware that he’s stuck in a vicious cycle he can’t escape from, but that he wanted at least to save the next generation from it.I was very very touched.

The second encounter happened tonight. I went to this ‘feed-the-homeless’ drive which is in Hyde park organised by a group called Just Enough Faith. The founding guy, Jeff Gambin is there every night from 8pm.

Anyway, it was my first night, and my god, I learnt so much.My friend warned me that if you’re a girl, you can face a lot of sleaze and harassment, many assuming that you’re a hooker.So I had my answer all ready:“I’m ten grand a minute mate. Your life-savings wouldn’t be enough.”But this preparation was all for nothing, because I ended up speaking to the most amazing person.He had been living on the streets after a brain operation which blanked out a lot of his memory. He can’t even remember what accident had necessitated the operation in the first place. This guy is obviously an intelligent man. He has a university degree (in social science) and he was also quite a
successful musician at one stage. But then he told me about how he had seen his sister raped as a child. These are his words:“I don’t know why we vote in the government that we do. They aren’t representative of the people at all. Like, they’ve shut down the mental asylums and now these people, even those really hard cases who need
medication, are forced onto the street.”

The thing is, when I spoke to him, this man seemed completely at peace with himself. He’s an Irish Catholic who likes the teachings of Buddha (and reckons the Pope is secretly a Buddhist (!!) as he finds a lot of the teachings similar).

Obviously, he’s not the archetype homeless, but he did make me realize that some of the kindest people are those who don’t have much themselves.

Anyway, I better go.

Love,
(name withheld)



[ Wed Dec 05, 05:43:40 AM | Serena Lee | edit ]
I never could understand this thing called relationship. Especially the ones that involves one man and one woman or possibly a few men and one woman and vice versa. Why would people voluntarily put themselves through so much pain? I don't have much experience with this thing they call love. But i have had two boyfriends. One of which i admit that i don't know him well enough to love him, so i called it quits after a month or so. That didn't hurt me in the least, maybe because i myself expected the breakup. I did ask for it.

The other one is a little more hurtful, i cried the day we broke up. Might it be because i loved him? I don't really think so. I do like him, a lot, but once again, time was good to me and our relationship was short. Then, why cry? Maybe its a mourning of the loss itself? He was a good person, and had just about everything i'd want in a partner. The little faults and misses i could forgive and forget. I was lucky to even have him for that short time. He taught me that money, at times, isn't everything a person could have and want. To him, i wish all the best, for we could be the best of friends now that our time together has ended.

Besides these two official encounters, i did have a few other interesting stories. Perhaps i'll start on that, but later.

What i should mention is that i am a really good counsellor on relationship problems, but it's all theory and learnt from reading the hundreds of books that i've been through in my life. Never had much of a chance to put to test all those precious advice that i dish out whenever i can. I feel sad. Need love. Anyone?